Navigating Intimacy Post-Trauma

Trauma is a prevalent issue, affecting 70% of adults, and can significantly influence one's sex life. Responses to trauma vary and can manifest in different ways, including fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Recognizing personal stress responses is crucial for communicating needs to partners.

Identifying stress/trauma responses

Understanding the four acute stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, fawn—is important to recognize how one might react under threat or when reliving traumatic memories. This recognition is key to informing partners about potential triggers and responses.

Tips for communicating around trauma responses

Communication tools are provided to work within one's current state, without necessitating immediate change. Sharing one's type of stress response with supportive individuals aids in managing expectations and preparing for caring reactions.

Manage expectations

Conveying potential stress responses to partners allows them to be mentally ready and supportive. Mutual care plans can be established to handle trauma responses more effectively.

Be descriptive

Being descriptive about triggers and responses helps partners support you. Information such as situations that may cause a stress response, identifying the type of response, and guidelines for partners are beneficial.

Create check-ins

Check-ins before, during, and after sexual encounters ensure safety and comfort. Safe words and physical signals, like a double tap, can be used to communicate distress. Multiple choice check-ins can provide clear options for continuation or stopping.

Pre-encounter

Discussing check-ins and responses before an encounter prepares both parties.

Peri/during encounter

Safe words and physical signals provide clear communication during encounters. Partners can also offer multiple choice options for proceeding.

Post encounter

Post-encounter debriefs are crucial to discuss what went well and address any issues, with the aim of improving future interactions.

Last note

These conversations can take place with any consensual partner. If a partner is not open to discussing re-traumatization prevention, they may not be safe for you.

Survivors of sexual trauma seeking help can find support through available resources.