Welcome to sexy ways
Welcome to sexy ways
It's a familiar scenario for many: a whirlwind of thoughts swirling through your mind, from daily chores to deep-seated insecurities, especially when it's time to be intimate. These relentless worries can transform what should be a fulfilling experience into a battleground of stress and self-doubt.
Whether it's the laundry list of tasks, concerns about body image, or the pressure to perform, our brains are often stuck in overdrive, preventing us from fully engaging and enjoying the moment. But what if we could apply the brakes to these intrusive thoughts and hit the accelerator on our sexual excitement?
Sexuality educator Emily Nagoski introduces us to the dual control model in her book 'Come As You Are', explaining how our sexual response is influenced by both excitatory and inhibitory factors. While we might be familiar with the accelerators—erotic stimuli that rev us up—we often overlook the importance of easing off the brakes to truly immerse ourselves in the pleasure of sex.
Stress, exhaustion, body image issues, performance anxiety, and concerns about our desires—all act as brakes. By acknowledging their presence and learning to let go of those we can't control, we open the door to a more relaxed and satisfying sexual experience.
From laughter-filled sitcoms like 'The Mindy Project' to the unrealistic portrayals in erotic films, we're bombarded with messages about how sex 'should' look and feel. These can feed our insecurities and anxieties, but it's crucial to remember that these are often far removed from reality. Instead, embracing open communication about desires and boundaries with our partners can lead to a more authentic and enjoyable connection.
By focusing on self-care, communication, and a shift away from a goal-oriented mindset, we can enhance our sexual well-being. It's about finding pleasure in intimacy in its many forms, without the burden of societal expectations or personal insecurities. So let's dim the lights on our worries and illuminate the path to a sex life that's as stress-free as it is steamy.