The content in this article discusses sensitive topics such as sexual assault and violence, which could be potentially triggering. Support resources like RAINN are available for those affected.
The tragic case of Sarah Everard's kidnapping and murder in March shed light on the pervasive issue of gendered violence. Despite individuals adhering to safety 'rules', numerous stories of harassment and assault have surfaced online, highlighting the flawed societal notion of victim responsibility. Shockingly, the World Health Organization reports that 1 in 3 women globally have experienced physical or sexual violence, a statistic that has not improved in a decade.
Survivors of sexual trauma may face numerous challenges in their sexual lives, with reactions differing from one person to another. Common effects include being triggered by certain stimuli, experiencing dissociation as a coping mechanism, and grappling with shame due to societal victim-blaming.
Healing from sexual trauma is a personal and individual process. Sex educator and healing practitioner Kai Werder suggests a variety of approaches such as somatic practices, exercise, therapy, time in nature, and learning about trauma. Furthermore, Werder notes the potential benefits of exploring sexual pleasure and masturbation in rebuilding a sexual relationship with oneself.
For those ready to reconnect with their sexual selves, Werder advises starting with small, pleasurable experiences and practicing mindfulness. When progressing to sexual touch or partnered sex, clear communication about consent, boundaries, and trigger plans is crucial. Aftercare is also highlighted as an important aspect of the sexual experience, providing a space to decompress and process the encounter together.
It's essential for partners to understand that triggers are not a reflection of them, but they should be aware of the possibility of experiencing secondary trauma and seek a robust support system.